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The Great Recession
"The Great Recession" is the third episode of the fifth season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Mac and Dennis try to keep the bar afloat in the tough economic times; Frank starts a family business with Dee; newly poor people gather outside the bar. Recap 11:00 A.M. on a Tuesday The recession has hit Paddy's Pub with the arrival of an RV. Frank decides to hang himself because he lost everything in a ponzi scheme. After losing his money, he meets with Mac & Dennis at Dave & Busters to talk shop over steak and video games. Mac decides to make their bar as efficient as the government so they cut Frank from the management team and begin consolidating. Mac and Dennis start firings at Paddy's with Dee after asking her to mix a mojito for them. She proceeds to give them a Coors Light and quits before they can fire her. Charlie shows Mac & Dennis how he burns trash in the furnace, changes the rain water barrels and siphons electricity from other buildings while showing his illiteracy by explaining that everyday he turns on the "Coors" sign which is actually the "Closed" sign. With one swoop, Charlie is fired and kicked out onto the street because Frank sublets the apartment to start up his business with Dee in their trailer. Dennis and Mac get drunk off Merlot at Dave and Busters and think of a stimulus plan to help Paddy's pub in this tough economic time. Dennis in his drunken state, comes up with Paddy's dollars. Frank and Dee try to sell knives and a vacuum to their first client but with minutes Frank has sliced open his hand so in depression he attempts to hang himself yet again in their clients bathroom. Mac and Dennis's plans dont' quite work out and Dee, Frank and Charlie become crab people before the government bails them out! Alliances Recurring Roles * Andrew Friedman as Uncle Jack * Lynne Stewart as Bonnie Kelly Guest Stars * Kristen O'Meara as Beth * Sabrina Vittore as D&B Waitress * Shaun Paul Costello as Dude Trivia * Product placement in this episode: Coors Light cold activated cans and Dave & Busters restaurant. Quotes :Mac: I'll tell you who. New poor. Ever since the recession hit, waves of new people are suddenly broke. These people have no idea how to live without money. They're what's called "new poor". We're "old poor". :Dennis: They could stand to learn a lesson or two from us because we would never take our homelessness and shove it down everybody's face. :Charlie: Have some class, if you're gonna be poor. :Charlie: You start putting plans under a microscope, nothing's gonna make sense alright? :hangs from a noose :Dee: Frank's trying to kill himself. :Frank: Don't try to stop me. I lost all my money in a Ponzi scheme. I'm broke! :Dee: His neck is so thick I feel likes he just gonna swing and dangle around for a really long time. :Frank: Tie a chair to me, tie a chair to me... :Mac: I'm comfortable being 'chaff' if you want to be 'wheat'. :Charlie: Ok, boys! Let's talk rat traps! :Frank: What part of "I am Broke" don't you guys understand? I tried to hang myself! No more bail outs!!! :Frank: Are you willing to destroy your credit? :Dee: Well, it's never really been a problem before. :Charlie: Now lets talk about the trash, what do I do with the trash, how I dispose of the trash? :Dennis: I don't know we disposed of the trash in the dumpster last night, what are you doing with it? :Charlie: I am taking it to the furnace.. :Mac: We have a furnace? :Charlie: Absolutely, where do you think the heat comes from? :Dennis: You burn the trash in the furnace? :Charlie: This bar runs on trash, dude. This bar is totally green that way. :Dennis: How is burning trash green? :Charlie: Uh, because I'm recycling the trash into heat for the bar, and lots of smoke for the bar giving the bar the smokey smell we all like. :Mac: The bar smells like trash! :Dennis: That's the exact opposite of green, Charlie. :Charlie: Oh, I'm sorry. Well I could put the trash into a landfill where it's going to stay for millions of years, or I could burn it up, get a nice smokey smell in here and let that smoke go into the sky where it turns into stars. :Mac: That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about stars to dispute him. :Charlie: Lastly, before I open the bar in the morning I always make sure to turn on the Coors sign to let people know we have nice delicious Coors in the bar. :Dennis: Charlie. That sign does not say "Coors". Come outside, come outside, come outside. :go outside :Dennis: Closed! It says "closed" Charlie! :Charlie: Yea, I can see that now, but you can't really read it from the inside. :Mac: You can't read it from the outside! :Frank: Feast your eyes on your new business. Knives!!! :Dee: You want me to sell knives door to door? :Frank: No! You're selling vacuums! :Dee: I'm sorry... I took out a high interest loan to invest in a door to door knife and vacuum selling business!? :Dee: Oh Goddammit! :Dennis: Break down what I'm holding in my hand, right now. :Mac: Uh, that is a Dave & Busters power card. :Dennis: Yeah. Now - does your Dave & Busters card work at any other similar establishments, like say a TGI Fridays? :Mac: Mine does not. Believe me, I have tried. Several locations. :Dennis: Yeah, because if you recall I've actually been with you on many of those occasions where you tried :Mac: Right. I don't think I've tried it enough. :Dennis: I think you have, because clearly at this point you should have realized that it doesn't work anywhere else. :Mac: There's one out in Franklin Mills I haven't tried, I feel like it might work. :Frank: All right, now, pretend that this shoe is an unboned chicken. And you're gonna cook it tonight, make a tasty dinner. It's gonna smell all through the house like cooked chicken. :Beth: Actually, I'm vegan. :Frank: Okay then pretend this shoe is whatever you people eat. Maybe it is a shoe. :Dee: Nice one. :Frank: I cut myself!!! It's a deep cut!!!! :Dee: Uhhh!!! I see your bones!!! :Frank: It's a deep cut! :Dee: Oh, Frank... :Frank: It's okay, it's alright, I got band aides in my bag. I just need your bathroom! :Charlie: We're crab people now Dee. :Dee: We're crab people now, Charlie? :Dennis: How does this work dude? :Mac: I don't know.. I thought you knew. :Dennis: I thought.. what? I thought you were on top of this. :Mac: Your the one that came up with the plan. :Dennis: Did I come up with this plan? :Mac: Last night dude... With the D&B power card... :Dennis: Oh I blacked out... I blacked out that night... Videos Video:Mojito Me Please (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) Video:Streamline (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) Video:Tough Times (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) Category:It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Episodes Category:Season 5 Episodes